Pet Peeves…

“Argggg…..What is that god awful smell?!”

Wag, wag, wag…..[butt wiggling]….

“What in the heck did you just?….Ew!…..Gross!….Don’t step in that!” [unlatching kennel door]

Wag, wag, wag….[butt wiggling, back left foot steps in turd]

“Nice!  Now you know what this means don’t you?!” [PM disgruntled and disgusted]

Wag, wag, wag….”Squeak, wimper, pant!”

“Great!” [lifts dog by chest and hauls dog upstairs to tub]

Squeak, puff, pant, pant

[Sounds of tap water are heard, rushing water, than the typical barrage of “bathing noises”….Splash!  Splash!, Scrub, Scrub, Scrub, Splash! Splash!]

“Sigh!  Now let me dry you off, you nasty little thing you….”

Wag, wag, wag….Thump, thump, thump….Shakity-shakity-shakity…..Shake, shake, shake

“Thanks!” [PM soaked from head to toe in doggy bathwater]

Just another day at the pet circus….(the turtle is next….!)

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9 responses to “Pet Peeves…

  1. hahaha!
    That’s a riot!

    (Do you actually have to bathe a turtle?)

  2. poseidonsmuse

    TBOE – Hi There! Thanks for dropping by. Um, erm, in reference to the “bathing the turtle question” –

    Yes! My turtle, although she is aquatic (a red-eared slider), does get “bathed” on occasion. Apparently, an aromatic “iguana bath” (flower extracts) keeps her skin supple and smoothe (who knew!) like a baby’s, well….you know…..

    She likes hissing too (expresses her anger rather well) and she bites ferociously when she is pissed at me….argg…..so bathtime with that little beastie can be quite a sideshow!

  3. OMG! bathing a biting turtle, how hilarious! Can you video that?!!
    Sx

  4. You should so record that. It has real youtube potential!

    I had a turtle once. I found it while ridgeriding. I took it home and played with it for a while, but then I felt bad for taking it out of its environment, so I took it across the holler (that’s like a hollow, but with more cars up on blocks), and set it on the hillside, hoping it would find safe shelter.

    The next morning as I was pulling out of my driveway….
    Well, the little fella musta crawled through the night trying to get back to me.

    It’s been 10 years, and I still feel like the worst turtle murderer in the whole world.

  5. poseidonsmuse

    Simonne and TBOE – lol! Yes, it can be an event….worthy of You-tube (that’s for sure) – it would sure beat those stupid videos of Crazy Frog (I like the one where the British teddy bear guy shoots him…! – sadistic, I know) or the German porn-star that sings about melonas and bananas….

    TBOE – Arggggg! That’s terrible (poor little reptile)! I’d hate to be a turtle killer (but trust me, I’ve had my “Homer Simpson” moments with mine….”Come here you little…well I’ll…..grrrrrrr”). Despite our “reptilian moments”, I’ve had her for about 9 years now (she was actually a “rescue” from Uni -ha! I know). Anyways, she is gorgeous. I’ll post a pic of her soon….

    Cheers!

  6. Oh please post a pic of her (how can you tell hims from hers on turtles)! Pet bathtimes are sooo much fun, but so worth it in the end…

  7. poseidonsmuse

    Observant – I’ll take a pic this afternoon and post it! Ok – about sexing turtles….good question….here goes:

    *read the following – as “Kinky Learned Facts of the Chelonian Variety” or thereabouts*

    Males generally have longer “claws” so that they can “grasp” the females in their favored “boys on top” position. Yeah, I know….turtles can be a little bit kinky. And, the males apparently have their cloacal orifice (aka butthole) further from the base of the tail than the females…hmmmm…I can’t comment on that fact (and probably shouldn’t!) [grin].

    In general – turtles are hard, streamlined and ready to perform….at all times.

    Really, in the animal kingdom, isn’t it all about “Sex!?”

  8. Hard, streamlined and ready to perform at all times… Sounds like the perfect male species to me!

  9. poseidonsmuse

    Simonne – Lol! I’ve got nuthin’…..!

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