Interview with a Turtle…

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“Ok.  Come here Sweetie…..Mum has some Blogger friends that want to see you!”  [reaching into tank to grasp turtle carefully by her shelly underbelly]

“Hiss, hiss!” flick, flick [with long, sharp claws]

“Ouch damnit!  Would you stop that leg flicking thingie…..!”  [PM’s hands getting scraped by long claws]

“Hiss!” [head tucked into shell, mouth open in angry defiance]

“Yeah, I know….you’re pissed, but, don’t you dare bite me you little bugger.  You’re going outside for some photos, you famous little turtle you….”  [looks up at me inquisitively with green “Kermit” eyes]

[PM rubs Vaseline onto shell – Turtle recoils in ticklish horror – Flicking legs frantically and hissing maniacally]

“Alright.  Isn’t that better?  Don’t you like the grass?” [removing towel from around reptile – otherwise known as “pumpkin seed”]

“Work it!  Work it!” [PM waiting with baited breath for underly exuberant attempt at a fashionable turtle “pose”]

[Turtle slowly pulls head out of shell and looks about at the waving grass]

“Aha!  Got it!”  [snap]

“Hugh Hefner would think I’m truly sick…..” [PM sighs and watches the turtle crawl away….]

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6 responses to “Interview with a Turtle…

  1. Hugh would be so proud of the way you seduced that turtle right out of his shell. And what about that Vaseline, huh? Kinky…

  2. Please pass along my thanks to pumpkin seed for his cooperation. I adore turtles and that pic made my evening.

  3. Nooor! Adorable! Telling a turtle to “work it, work it!” is totallly hysterical! Love it!
    She’s quite gorgeous 🙂

  4. poseidonsmuse

    Observant – Lol! KY or Astroglide would have been unbearable – she would have schooched right out of my hands……! She’s been accepted as Playboy’s August centrefold too, by the way (should be interesting….!).

    V – I’ll give her some strawberries for you! Glad you liked the pic. I’ll pass the message on to pumpkin seed.

    Simonne – Yes. I guess my former life as a fashion photographer paid off (just kidding). I think I could build her a little runway though….Canada’s Next Top Turtle…..(just think about all the fashion possibilities!). Tyra (or Jay Emmanuelle) might not be too interested though (might have to bribe them!)!

    Have a great weekend everyone [hiss! hiss!]

  5. OB – good to see you’re still on the kinky theme! PM – we’re collectively turning your blog X rated! He he!

  6. poseidonsmuse

    Simonne – “collectively turning [my] blog X-rated” Love it!! Too funny….Yes, I guess my closet “pervieness” can’t stay hidden for long. And….with all of you “dirty” ladies around (he he) – one can’t help from delving into the kinky bin now and then…..*Sigh* [grin]. Ok. Some guys are going to start thinking we’re up to something here…..Any guy “lurkers” out there? Anyone courageous enough to add some XY thoughts to the mix? Hmmmm…come on now…..! Didn’t think so……

    Rock on Simonne – love yah Babe!!!!!

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