The T-shirts – Hideous, The Memories – Priceless!


I had trouble logging onto my site today.  It seems as though “Saturday Night’s Alright (for Fightin’).”  Add “Your Blog” to the end of that song title and Elton would be singing quite an aggressive tune.  Apparently, some random computer page informed me that “my Blog server” was undergoing Routine Maintenance tonight.  I did not even realize that I have my very own Blog Server.  Just what does that entail exactly?  Is there a little Blog-mop swishing about through my pages, cleaning up errant dirty words and thoughts? (in that case, a good 50% of my Blog would be decimated…Kabaaam!).  So, I sat there like an idiot repeatedly typing my username and password (about 10 times) to be denied access to my own blog as the words “Already Hip?” and “Get a Blog Here” glare at me.  “I’m already hip, I need to vent like a steam engine…let me in for crap sakes…!”

Alright, enough of that garbage.  I can’t even remember what I was going to blog about tonight.  Oh yeah!  As I sat there like a stunted driver with road rage in rush hour traffic (behind the helm of a streamlined Toshiba), the title “Get a Hot T-shirt” (Blog News) caught my attention.  Then I thought about all the crap that I have done in my life.  You know…”Been There, Have the T-shirt” (Wow!  That is such a 90’s saying already….eeek!).  So, then I gots to thinking (oh yes…good use of the English language again PM) about all of the hideous T-shirts that I would have, if I had collected them during my life…So taking inventory…here’s goes….well….here goes….ah heck….Been There Done That…(imagine the cool, retro logo possibilities people….work with me here…..)….

1.  Purple T-shirt with the title – “I love Jesus” = apparently, I saw Jesus when I was 4 years old.  Jesus had wavy hair and wore a robe.  He appeared friendly, was cool, hip (and he probably had a Blog!).

2.  Red T-shirt with the title – “I Crapped My Pants at 4000 ft” = well, I didn’t “literally” crap my pants, but I spouted off a few nasty words before my pilot chute flipped out of my sky-diving pack.  Hence, I might as well have crapped myself.  By the way, the parachuting bit after the free fall part of skydiving ROCKS!  You just have to be stupid enough to risk your life to get to that point (ahem…).

3.  Blue T-shirt with the title – “I Survived Grandpa’s Boat Ride” = I was 7 years old and a passenger in my grandfather’s speedy, light blue, fibreglass boat (Yeah.  I know…If “Pimp Daddy” fished for a living, this boat would be his “ride”).  After showing off the boat’s agility and speed, my grandfather thought it would be a great idea to turn suddenly against his own wake.  For non-boaters…let’s just say that this is a stupid idea.  After returning myself from a nearly horizontal position (ie. boat nearly flipped over!), I screamed at him (seaweed still in my teeth).  I screamed LOUDLY!  This seven year old girl was ANGRY!  (Primal Scream Therapy, Anyone?).  I can laugh about it now…but grandpa was in the “bad-books” for days.

Ok.  Enough embarassing bits for now (I will complete the ugly T-shirt “Rainbow” in a few days).  Damn!  It hurts to travel down memory lane – hurts because my abs ache from laughing.  Lol! 



6 responses to “The T-shirts – Hideous, The Memories – Priceless!

  1. 🙂 Hi, PM….Just wanted to stop by and personally say thanks for your care and support today. I appreciate it so much. xoxox

    Can’t say I have any slogan shirts… although back in the day, I wanted one that said, ” I have PMS and a Handgun. Any questions?”

  2. Hook me up with the “I survived Grandpa’s boat ride” T-shirts. Seriously, I think that’s pretty damn funny.

    Here’s one: I Survived 4 Family vacations in a closed up car with my dad’s Winston habit!”

    Sky diving? PM, you do surprise me every time I turn around! It’s something I wish I would have done when I was younger because I don’t think I’d be able to to the jump now. My son wants to though, and I’ve encouraged him to “just do it.”

  3. For some reason this makes me think of the summer my neighbor (an ex-hippie, naturally!) helped us kids make tie dye t-shirts in her back yard. lol. I guess that’s as close as I got to a slogan-memory t-shirt! Though I think my brother had an “I survived Hell’s Canyon” t-shirt at one point.

  4. We were out Friday night and saw a plastic barbie blonde type wearing a shirt that said ” I ~heart~ Dick” ? And in the spirit of non-judgement, I immeadiately uttered…slut. 🙂

  5. Grace – That would make for a great T-shirt (I’ve seen that pic with an angry, frazzled kitty holding a handgun…too funny). I’ve been absent for a bit – sorry for not commenting on your comment sooner. Hope you are feeling well today (the Universe is humming for you darling….).

    OB – You are one cool mom, let me tell you that! Poor grandpa – he was only trying to impress us with his pimped out boat….Lol! Too funny. Oh! And I think that you should have a T-shirt too, regarding the Winston smoking dad (you poor thing…). Would that T-shirt be “nicotine-yellow” or more of a “sickly green” colour? And as far as sky-diving goes…you really need to “just do it” (once was enough for me…!!!!). Thanks for stopping by OB.

    Deb – “I Survived My Hippie Neighbour’s Tie Dye Day” would make for a great t-shirt! Imagine the funky colours you could use for that one! Slap a giant marijuana leaf on that puppy and you have yourself one funky shirt. One question, “Where is Hell’s Canyon?”

    V – I heart Dick? Wow! Yeah, “slut” would have been the first word on my mind. Perhaps there was an arrow pointing to her crotch? Was “she” really a “she?” Tee hee hee – I’m terrible (gives a new meaning to the shirt though). There is nothing wrong with cross-dressing….nothing wrong with trans-sexuals either (so no-one send me any hate mail here….jeeesh!).

  6. V – What a totally appropriate comment!

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