The Good, The Crazy and The Stinky…

Wow!  Thanks for putting up with my relative absence everyone.  When I saw that virtual chunk of tumbleweed rolling across my blog screen, I imagined the theme to “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” drifting through my head, and thought I had better post something with some substance on my site, before my Blog becomes a ghost-town! 

“Move over Sheriff, there’s a new Mermaid in town…!” [PM sidles up to the bar wearing her best leather Mermaid-y outfit, complete with seashell accessories and an errant squid “hitch-hiker” that appears to be attached to her left breast…]. 

“Give me a double, Mr. Bar-Keep!” [PM slams her glass down on the oak counter…the squid blinks and scuttles onto the counter leaving a trail of slime as it moves towards an opened bottle of vodka…tip….kerplunk…schloop…skitter…skitter….glug, glug, glug…..”BURRRRRRRRRRRRRP!”

“Damnit Stinky!” PM shouts, “I told Poseidon that you should stay at home…you embarassing little thing you.  Vodka gives you gas!” [The squid blinks an eye, lifts his middle tentacle and skitters away…].

[PM looks on…horrified…and shakes her head…].

[Sigh].  Oh…I need a double shot of something after that MSN conversation!  Chatting with three people in three separate corners of the globe at once.  One friend needs relationship counselling, another requires amusement in the form of kinky foreplay and another is sick from influenza.  How did I keep everything from getting jumbled?  Very Carefully.  Just ensure you don’t tell your sick friend to locate their G-spot for health purposes and you’ll be alright.  Wait a minute…I might be onto something there.  But seriously…three simultaneous MSN conversations had me reeling, G-spot or not.

Phew!  I’m exhausted.  Time for Bed.  G’night folks….LOL, LMAO, TTYL, TTFN, MSN fun….!  Wheeeeeee!  I think I’ve finally lost it!

“Now, where is that profane squid of mine….Manners Mr. Stinky….Manners!!!!”  [PM mumbles as she trudges off, in search of errant cephalopod].




5 responses to “The Good, The Crazy and The Stinky…

  1. Oh PM, you are too funny! And how about that squid on your left breast (you kinky girl). What a multitasker – locating G spots, dispensing echinacea and providing talk therapy all at once!

    Let’s hear it for Marty Robbins:

    “Deep in my heart is a song
    Here on the range I belong
    Drifting along with a tumbling tumbleweed”

    Too funny OB! Maybe it’s more ADD than multitasking, but I’ll go with whatever I can get! I love Marty Robbins too, by the way! Very appropriate tune OB. I like “White Sportcoat (and a Pink Carnation)” too…not that I’m in a blue mood (but his voice is so dreamy…).

  2. I just stopped by to say that you are appreciated, cared for and loved.

    Thinking of you.

    ~ RubyShooZ ~

    Peace, love and understanding.

    Ruby…You are one amazing lady. [[[[[KISS]]]]]. Thanks Gorgeous! I needed that this morning. I love you too Roobs.

  3. hehehe

    I don’t know, PM…I’m thinking that if we answered every problem our girlfriends have with “Locate your GSpot”, we might have alot less drama and alot more grinning going on 😛

    Too funny…I loved this. And I could actually hear the music playing in the background. “Whistles”

    Lol! I would agree to agree with you there Grace! World Peace Created with Mass Exploration of GSpots….Do you think it would work?! I think my bizarre sense of humour showed it’s decidedly Western side with this post! Thanks for stopping by the Tavern!

  4. Grace – you are in rare form today, chica! Now excuse me while I go locate my G spot..

    LMAO. OB…When you find that Gspot of yours, you let me know about it…I’ve been trying for years to no avail. Even my guy friends can’t help me out on that one. I am truly a hopeless Gspot finder. Hmm…I wonder if they have created the Gspot Detector? Might have to find out so I can design and patent that puppy! Anyways, a glass of Merlot always puts *me* in the mood! Have fun!

  5. Muse – Yes I love Marty Robbins and have always been a sucker for those older country boys, most notably George Jones who I’ve seen perform numerous times, and at some intimite venues (NO, not like THAT kind of initmate!) Love, love, love that voice.

    Tee hee hee…Yeah, I gotcha, intimate venues are the best way to listen to some artists – especially Country and Bluegrass Artists. I like George Jones too! And, I have always been and always will be a Don Williams fan…love his smooth voice…incredibly soulful music…”Good Ole Boys Like Me” has to be my favourite….The following lines are so beautiful…

    “Nothing makes a sound in the night like the wind does,
    But you ain’t afraid if you’re washed in the blood like I was.
    The smell of cape jasmine through the window screen,
    John R. and the wolfman kept me company
    By the light of the radio by my bed,
    With Thomas Wolfe whispering in my head.”

    Yet another cd to drag to that Meeting of Alchemical Goddesses!


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