It started with a wicked thought and a river’s worth of teeming, tingling tastebuds. I stepped into the bathroom, primped my hair, checked my make-up and spritzed myself with Givenchy. Before snapping up my sexiest pair of heels, I checked my rear-view reflection in a small make-up mirror. “Nice PM! You’ve still got it!” I crooned as I gazed at my firmly trouser-ed butt. I raced down the stairs, heart beating quickly, searching and fumbling for my house and car keys. Oh yes, and I grabbed my iPod from the commode too! “I need some seductive music for this visit!” I sang to myself as I slammed the door. Switching my trusty little car into first, second, then third and “Wa-ha!”, a whopping fourth gear, I hit the road, dashing towards my waiting charge. Really. Is there anything sexier than driving a standard vehicle?
Before stepping out of the car, I checked my makeup. Twice. “Hmm…these braces are making my lips look quite full these days…” I noted in a distracted tone as I reached for more gloss. “Damn PM! You aren’t Ugly Betty, but “it” really isn’t going to care if you look good, as long as you appreciate and love what “it” has to offer.” Excited and in a hurry, I rushed towards the sliding doors before an oddly romantic couple that appeared to “need a room.” Sliding in front of the obviously “wanting” couple, I made my way to the first few items. “Oh yes, I want you, and you and you” stashing some oddly placed items into my basket. Then, I made my way to the “piece de resistance.” I made my way to the counter. Stood there with a seductive grin on my face as I eyed my “charge.” The teenager behind the counter seemed happy to flirt with me as I pointed to “it.” He seemed to gasp, then quickly procured “it” from it’s hiding place. Needless to say, I left the counter one happy, albeit, “older” woman [wink].
After making my way home, I had elaborated the perfect sauce for this event. Let’s suffice to say that the marinade was inspired by the sultry tones of Enigma…soy, ginger, lime, garlic, shallot, olive oil and a dash of sea salt….”Purrr-fect” I cooed as I nestled “it” into a glass container and placed it in the refrigerator. Pouring myself a glass of wine, I deliberated upon a few crumbs of a decadent Gloucester and Stilton cheese. “Wow! This is absolutely Divine!” I sang with dancing tastebuds as I jumped up and down like a Catholic school girl at a Hallowe-en dance (yes…I have been that schoolgirl….I was repressed!). An hour, and one glass of Merlot later and “Voila!” I was preparing “it” for the enjoyment of these teeming tastebuds. “What is it?” you might be asking? Oh, Dear Reader, “it” was an absolutely smashing piece of Ahi Tuna. Marinated and seared to perfection by yours truly. Completely and utterly foodgasmic. It was certainly worth the primping, the makeup, the seduction….
“Now what’s for dessert?!”