I rarely rant, and most of you know this, but something that I read today on some random blog really made my skin crawl. I read something that made me very angry. My Wild Woman is completely fired up right now.
This is not a lateral attack at anyone or anything in particular. Perhaps it is my personal obsession with this topic that gets me so hot under the collar, or my seemingly passionate nature lately that has me riled up. But,
I hate assumptions. Many of you know this already.
Like many people, I read blogs to gain a general understanding of people. When I say “general”, I mean that we can’t possibly know enough about a person from their blog to know of whom or what they speak of themselves or others to truly know of a person’s intentions or reasons for writing what they do. In other words, I do not make assumptions about what other’s say and I certainly don’t care to take what they say personally because of this. Perceived reality is just that….food for drama and there is enough drama in this world for a billion soap operas.
[For all you know, I could really be a 5 foot tall, male Pygmy living in the Amazon Rain Forest. Highly unlikely, but possible, yes?]
Unfortunately, I am one of those kinds of people that chooses to keep my life more private, especially online. I’ve blogged about this before. This includes most aspects, especially the dark and dirty bits of my life including my childhood, for good reason. Very few people in my real life have very little clue of my life’s history. When I let someone “in”, it means that I do it because I trust them. I let few people “in” because I am afraid of being hurt by assumptions and misunderstandings. I’m sure some of you are smiling and nodding because this sounds completely reasonable.
Even in my life, I choose to be one of those happy people for the most part, because there is no point in dwelling on the negative aspects of anything. Therefore, I consider myself a sturdy optimist. If all my legs were hacked off and I was lying on a gurney somewhere and someone asked me how I was doing, I would say, “I’m thankful that I’m alive!” Having said this, most of what I write in this blog sounds like fluff compared to the ordeals of others (good on you if you use blogging as a means of working through your problems…I tried this and it certainly did not work for me).
So despite all this ranting, why am I so angry? I am angry because people make assumptions of other people’s circumstances. I have had this happen to me on many occasions, as I’m sure most of you have too. People online and people in my Real Life have made assumptions about my life based on what they “see” (ie. perceive based on assumptions). They see a happy woman, going about her life with conviction, passion and a sense of purpose in a manner that others would “envy”. They haven’t sat down with me to discover my Truth before making some winded assumption about who and what I am all about.
[Yes…I’ve got a fire in my belly and it’s just getting warmer….].
Anyway, from what people read in my blog, it may sound as though I have the idyllic life because I have chosen to be a positive person in this space. I spare the nitty gritty of my life’s details with very few friends in Real Life instead….and even these people (who truly know me), would consider me very humble and down-to-earth. I am culling the “drama” relationships from my life, and the last thing I would ever want to be accused of is being a “drama” queen living an ideal life.
So, this person (me), that some may think has an Ideal life has a very Real, down to earth life:
-I have financial concerns like everyone else and I am not bothered by this because I know that the Universe is generous and will help me with what I need when I work for it.
-As far as my activities and “time” goes. My line of work was chosen because I am passionate about it, and it makes me click my heels like Dorothy on the Yellow Brick Road to go to work in the morning. I love my job. I planned it this way. It took me alot of time, money and sacrifice to get here. My job is rather flexible and allows for travel and my ability to tend to some hobbies (by choice). I don’t watch much tv at all (with the exception of some educational stuff and “Lost”), but that’s it. 1/6 of a person’s life can be taken up by tv….and I’ve chosen to not allow that to happen!
-I don’t live in a glass house. I have relationship, family and Life concerns like everyone else. I pay bills, clean toilets, shovel sidewalks and pick up dog crap. In other words, I Live. Hallelujah!
-I don’t have kids, but I love them and I might have a couple of them some day soon. This was/is a lifestyle choice that I/we made for personal reasons.
However, on the other hand, I am very thankful for (here’s my Appreciation List of 2008):
-Friends that listen intently with open hearts and minds and speak their Truths to me, even if it hurts, so that we might grow together. If we (friends) grow past one another, then so be it. There is no coercive action, mental, emotional or spiritual reason to keep a friend beyond their stay. Friends aren’t friends if they feel like birds in a cage and want to fly away from you.
-The challenges of life that make you stronger.
-Laughter, joy and the feeling of a “full” life without drama. I might love Cirque du Soleil, but drama sucks. Reality is what you make of it. Drama gets in the way of Life’s fun stuff and true, lasting friendships.
-Sunrises, sunsets and friendly dogs.
-Breakfast in bed.
-A roof over my head.
-Being able to assert myself, vote, speak up with an opinion, say “no” and place value in my dignity as a human being (and fight for the rights of others while I am at it).
-For “you”…whoever “you” might be. If you’ve read this far through my rant, that means you have passion too…and there is absolutely nothing wrong with fighting for yourself or what you believe in!
If anything “bites your craw” (as we say here in the sticks), let me know and we can share a rant or a laugh! Life is just too bloody short to waste on making assumptions about people. Friends should be windows through another’s soul to the beauty and wonder of life, not “objects” for misunderstanding and assumptions.
Here’s to Choices, Convictions and Assumptions!