I can never seem to remember the password to this account. Everytime I successfully log onto this blog, I catch a breath – perhaps of anticipation or seeming dismay that the cut and paste passwords that I scrape from my Yahoo account continually allow me access to this space. Ali baba would be a little ashamed of me as I am a bit of a defunct crypt-keeper.
Although I am not posting nearly as oft as I used to – I have been reading some of your blogs too as a source of inspiration. You might have caught me lurking here or there without forming an official comment. Know that although I have been somewhat silent, I have been amazed by the depth and breadth of articulation amongst all of the postings that I have read. Now, upon returning to this space, after an absence, like I have done, time after time – I FULLY comprehend the meaning of obligation.
I used to feel obligated to write…to speak…to add my comments here and there. Now, I only feel obligated to exist in that definitive void and space of the now – floating between want & need, communication & silence, black & white. A friend of mine has a talented knack of chasing my soul to the heart of it’s core existence and told me today, in no uncertain terms, that although I present the world with a fully charged and seemingly coherent mind and soul-body connection, I am a bit of a polarised individual. Not bipolar, but polarised.
Aren’t we all somewhat polarised?
I think we all long for social interaction, but lean towards the fray of loneliness. We yearn to speak our minds and hearts but silence ourselves because we may have found peace in the silence of Knowing. Sometimes we may linger and delve into the depths of question, allusion and metaphor and at other times we may only superfically tamper with the fringe and tassels of the surface depths of existence. What is left to speak when your soul has plunged to the greatest creative depths, surfaced to mingle with the loveliest of souls on the nether side and returned to display an eloquent and understated philosophy of artistic insight?
Nothing. This is the silence of knowing, of growing.
I stand silently, in awe, at the majesty of the dark void. My roots sink deeply into the dark earth as my hands stretch into the infinite heavens for my Beloved. My heart thrums a beat and a song wells from deep within my chest as little jewelled chips swirl about my feet…
Tonight, we shall dance. My partner and I shall dance.